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I think everybody has a Berman. What's a Berman? Berman's the guy on the Magic Bullet Infomercial. 
'Scuse me - the bald, sarcastic, generally unhappy hemerroid sufferer on the Magic Bullet Infomercial. 
"I hate brocolli!" "Nobody eats that many vegetables - nobody!" "My wife left me and I'm so alone!" Etcetera, etcetera... 
A few years ago I worked with my Berman, which came in the form of a woman named Linda. 
Love had been a little bit hard on Linda. She was older, bitter and not much wiser. Like Berman. 
Linda hated life. Linda hated her job. Linda hated everything, except cigarettes and her teenage son, whom she doted over a little too much if you know what I mean and I think you do. 
Her Bermanesque quotes included: "Frick n' frack! I hate this job!" "Shut up, stomach!" (lunchtime quote) & "Well, if ain't broke why go stickin' your nose in it?" To quote Lisa Loeb, I was only hearin' negatives. I'd turn my radio on, turned my radio up - but this woman kept singing her song! Huband in love, husband ran away; secretary's younger so husband won't stay! Day in and day out, for years I sat next to this. Sheesh. So yeah, I miss her... She was pretty cool. 
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